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Healthy and Happy Love Relationships. Originally written in 1986, and a free online guide to time-tested attitudes & tips since 2001.
Understanding each other begins with open, honest, two-way communication and it is key to a healthy relationship. I will clarify here, that real communication -- useful communication -- is more than just an ongoing exchange of trivia, successes, high points, and desires. Most people think of ‘talking’ as communication, and can talk for hours without really saying much at all.  `Communicating’ on that level is much like playing a stereo recording in monaural mode. So flip the switch to the ‘stereo’ setting. Doing so will open a whole new level of communication between you, and in doing so you’ll find yourselves feeling closer to each other than ever before. Someone who genuinely cares for you will be touched by the trust you’re demonstrating. It’s unlikely he or she will not follow your lead, and will therefore open up to you also. The exchange between you must be equal, and freely given to maintain a balance between you, though. (This should occur naturally between two people who are sincere about each other.) In the exchange which follows, you will very likely find you have a lot more in common than originally thought. These commonalties can be a greater source of bonding than musical preferences, culinary tastes, interests in golf or tennis, or your lifestyle preferences could ever be. But it requires TRUST ... right? Think about this; if you saw enough in her or him to begin a relationship in the first place, you should be able to find it in yourself to place at least a little trust up front. Set the example if you must, because if trust doesn’t begin somewhere, it may never begin at all. You could say, now; "But that’s risky; why should I take the risk?" Well, walking across the street is also "risky" -- but if you don’t start walking, you’ll never get to the other side. That may sound simplistic, but the analogy works since you shouldn’t step off a curb until you’ve looked both ways either, and in a relationship you should also use reasonable care before starting out. (We will talk about impatience a little later on.) If you find you are not being reciprocated with meaningful feedback and response, after having given your partner a fair opportunity to do so, and having considered any relevant circumstances, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate where the relationship is likely headed.

Understanding Each Other is

Key to a Healthy Relationship

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The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love. — Henry Miller