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Healthy and Happy Love Relationships. Originally written in 1986, and a free online guide to time-tested attitudes & tips since 2001.

Saying “I Love You” Without Words

Saying "I love you" without using words ...that is making love and having, therefore, a love affair. Romance can be anything that makes your partner feel special, appreciated, valued, and loved. These little gestures have a way of `gift wrapping the moment’, and storing it away for a "rainy day". Those memories can be vitally important later on when life throws the inevitable curve your way. More on that later. Another way to keep things fresh is to not allow anything to become rigidly `gender specific’, and to avoid a strict 50/50 attitude toward responsibilities. In the case of the latter, there will always be times when one or the other partner will be carrying a greater percentage of the work load. This is natural, and if you truly love each other there should be no evidence of a `balance sheet’ where the division of responsibilities is concerned. Where gender specificity is concerned, there will always be certain things which one or the other handles on a more or less regular basis. However, when those things become "woman’s work" or "man’s work", and neither wants to cross the `gender barrier’, tensions and resentments are destined to occur needlessly. My suggestion here is to do whatever needs to be done, regardless of who’s "job" it is, because it needs to be done. Think of it in terms of what is of most benefit to the both of you -- on behalf of both of you as a couple. The sooner the chores are out of the way _ the sooner you’ll have time to spend time relaxing with each other and enjoying quality time together. Don’t wait to be asked; just do it because you love her or him. It will be appreciated, and will add to your store of "gift wrapped memories". When your partner does something out of the ordinary for you, show your appreciation for it. Never allow a gesture or an effort to go unappreciated. There’s no substitute for the words "Thank You". By showing consistent appreciation, your partner will not feel taken for granted, and you will always be reminded that your partner’s efforts are important to you -- ergo, you will be far less likely to begin taking his or her efforts for granted. Even the most mundane task is more enjoyable when you know it’s appreciated by someone important to you.
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Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are. — Antoine de Saint-Exupery