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Healthy and Happy Love Relationships. Originally written in 1986, and a free online guide to time-tested attitudes & tips since 2001.

Relationship Tips in a Nutshell

A famous saying says that success is generally 20% aptitude and 80% attitude. This applies to relationships as much as anything else and these tips on attitudes within a relationship should be committed to memory by everyone. Attitudes come in two 'flavors' ... positive attitudes and negative attitudes ... there is no question which is beneficial and which is destructive . Mood swings due to stresses or events can at times cause all of us to adopt a poor attitude so we must keep an eye on our own behavior. No one does anything ‘wrong’. We all have different perceptions of the world based on individually unique life experiences. In other words, every person will believe they are doing the right thing in accordance with that unique view on life. Attempting to resolve differences based on individual perceptions alone is a difficult and often divisive process. Understanding and reasonable compromise will work much better. We live in a ‘relative world’. Opposites can coexist nicely provided both parties are willing to look at a wider range of possibilities and concepts. Narrow thinking is exclusionary and selfish … whereas an open minded is inclusive, loving and a demonstration that the collective good is more important than jealously protecting rigid personal paradigms. Attempting to control another person only results in anger and resentment. Anything someone feels pushed, compelled or forced to do will meet with resistance. A person will resist in either passive or aggressive modes. The aggressive response is anger or perhaps even violence! Passive resistance will manifest in various ways ranging from ignoring to resentful submission. Regardless of the scenario ‘control’ is short term, requires constant maintenance and builds a house of cards. You create your experience with another person based on fixed beliefs or experience. When you fix your mind on a certain thought, particularly about outcomes, you will most often cause it to come true. If you relate to someone with suspicion or fear due to a past relationship you will convey that sub-verbally and create problems. The best thing you can do is give each situation its own chance and not make it pay a price for past problems or disappointments. The Law of Attraction. Your beliefs and feelings about relationships will attract experiences that reflect the same beliefs and feelings. If you believe in negativity, mistrust or abuse, you will attract that in one form or another. Conversely, focus on happy thoughts about relationships and yourself and you will inevitably attract someone who reflects those positive feeling back to you. The Law of Allowing. Similar to controlling but in reverse. You take a lot of pressure off yourself and your significant other if you allow them to be themselves and love them for who and what they are in their natural state. This freedom opens the door for spontaneity and many fun, happy and memorable moments will follow that would never have happened otherwise. Those are your relationship tips in a nutshell!
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The love of our private friends is the only preparatory exercise for the love of all men. — John Henry Newman