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Healthy and Happy Love Relationships. Originally written in 1986, and a free online guide to time-tested attitudes & tips since 2001.

The Power of Imagination

The power of the imagination to virtually create any circumstance or situation we focus on long enough is amazing. What most people don’t know is that we have total control over only one thing in our existence, and that is our thoughts.   Since thoughts are the building blocks of anything which ever has or will become a reality, we owe it to ourselves to dwell upon thoughts which lead to happy realities. Don’t allow yourself to become a puppet of other people’s thoughts, experiences, or attitudes. Your relationship is too valuable to allow other people’s ‘mental garbage’ to affect it in any way. Your partner is too valuable, for his or her own individual merits, to allow comparisons to the influence of advertising, movies, or someone else’s life. When in groups -- the guys or the gals -- there is an awful tendency to refer to partners in less than flattering terms. "The old man" ... "The old lady" ... to mention a couple of the more benign ones. If you allow yourself to participate in this weird mind-set, you are again sowing seeds of eventual discontentment because you are creating and fostering an attitude toward that person. Given time you will begin to look upon that person in just that way. Always speak of your partner in respectful and complimentary terms. This may make you something of an oddball at gatherings, but that is of less importance than risking the development of a negative attitude toward the person you love. If you genuinely love someone, you will always speak of them in a positive light. I’m always in mind of my old friend Chuck, who would always introduce or speak of his wife as "My lovely wife Linda..."... and they had been married for a number of years! Good on ya, Chuck! Even though they’d been married for years, and been through some ups & downs, he not only felt that way, but openly expressed it always. For that, Chuck was always looked upon with a special kind of respect. If you value your partner, you should always keep that value front, center, and above all else. Before concluding this journal, let us recount the highlights of this section.           • Have ownership over your own thoughts.           • Endeavor to understand your world.           • Internal knowledge is better than external advice.           • Don’t under-rate your own intelligence.           • Question input from external sources.           • Focus on the value of what you have.           • Avoid `pity parties’.           • What you focus on becomes your reality.           • Speak well of those you love -- at all times.

A good rule of thumb is to mix equal parts of self respect,

respect for your partner, fairness, and common sense.

Don’t set impossible standards for the person you’re involved with. In the last portion of this booklet, we’re going to briefly address some critical issues which cause discontentment to occur.
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Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence. — David Byrne