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Healthy and Happy Love Relationships. Originally written in 1986, and a free online guide to time-tested attitudes & tips since 2001.

Ongoing Communication is Important

to a Strong Relationship

As we get older, we are constantly growing, maturing, and therefore changing; so ongoing communication is as important after the relationship has been established as it was in the "getting to know you" stage. Your partner must be aware of the changes taking place in you if they are to be able to continue understanding you. Furthermore, in any situation where two people are closely associated with one another, there will be times when one or the other has a grievance. If those grievances are not communicated, they will build up inside, and eventually turn into a much larger problem than need be. It will be a relief to both of you to have it out of the way. It can never be asserted strongly enough that communication is vitally important at all stages & times Regard ongoing communication as a `pressure release valve’ -- there to ensure things don’t get out of hand where they need not. You and your partner may want to set time aside periodically for this purpose -- especially when the relationship is still relatively new to both of you. It will always be a learning process. Letting things build up inside will cause both of you to become more self-occupied, and therefore less aware and appreciative of each other. This negative situation is always a fertile breeding ground for unnecessary and destructive stress. Stress is deadly. It creates isolation, tensions, misunderstandings, quick tempers, and possibly even health problems. Anything you can do to reduce or eliminate it should be done. Here is a trick I’ve learned: Go out of your way to do something extra special for your partner. Doing so will focus your attention on something positive, and your partner’s response will break the ice for a gentle discussion about the problem. Then all you have to do is resolve it -- which will be much easier with both of you on the same side again. Although people can sense tension in someone they’re close to, they cannot `read minds’. Avoiding the issue, hoping it will blow over, is an unrealistic approach to a solution. You must speak to communicate, and the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be enjoying the rewards of being together -- instead of enduring the stress of isolated silence. 
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The first duty of love is to listen. — Paul Tillich