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Healthy and Happy Love Relationships. Originally written in 1986, and a free online guide to time-tested attitudes & tips since 2001.

How To Avoid Marital Money Problems

Money problems can cause fights and increase tension in a relationship. According to one recent survey, sixty percent of couples report fighting about. More than ninety-three percent report that financial problems increased the amount of stress in their lives. You can prevent financial issues from ruining your relationship and It starts with setting aside the time to talk about money, and discussing the issues calmly in order to prevent the situation from overheating."

Topics to include in your discussion.

Honesty and trust are the foundations of a strong relationship and therefore both of you should be prepared to be completely open. Far too many people keep financial secrets from each other. It is very important discuss your financial positions openly, disclosing how much is owed on credit cards, any outstanding liabilities and assets both joint and separate. Early in your relationship you should share your values and attitudes about money and discuss how money was handled at home when you were growing up and how that affects the manner in which you view money as an adult. Families have different ways of dealing with family finances in the same way different families deal with other life issues …these are the early experiences that form us as adults. Each of you should list your short and long term goals, and together you should set your joint financial goals using your individual plans and wishes as a starting point for identifying those goals. An emergency savings account, eliminating debt, buying a new home, having children, major purchases, retirement planning and vacation plans should be among your top priorities. Once you’ve established a mutually acceptable list you must develop a budget as a ‘road map’ to those goals. Be realistic about your expenses. Your budget should include leeway for emergencies and unexpected expenses that inevitably come up …usually at the worst time according to Murphy. Make regular deposits in your savings account for these unexpected expenses. Determine which money management approach is best for you …joint or separate checking accounts and joint or separate savings accounts. Some people it easier to have one checking account for paying regular bills, but if you prefer separate accounts decide who is responsible for paying what. Don’t forget that it can often be easier if one of you does all the accounting if there is a better skill set for it …but that doesn’t mean that the other person should be excluded from knowing the details along the way. A good relationship isn’t something that grows on trees …you put a lot of effort into building your relationship because you saw value between you that was worth the effort. Why waste that for the sake of dollars? There is always more money in the world, but will there ever be another you? Keeping that priority clearly in mind should help you see the money management ‘task’ as nothing more than another household ‘chore’ …something to be dealt with as smoothly as possible to leave more time and energy for the pleasures of just being together!
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Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses. — Lao Tzu